As a teenager, I was a dreamer and a doer. I loved daring new things and exploring my passions. During that time, I had a 9-to-5 job as a front desk representative, doubling as a sales rep. I had just graduated from secondary school like two or three years, and my primary goal was to make money. Leveraging social media, I dabbled in various projects that brought me joy and fulfillment.
One day, my boss called me into his office. He had noticed my activities on Facebook and WhatsApp—speaking, sharing ideas, and organizing events.
From a place of his own understanding, he asked me some pointed questions about my future and shared unsolicited advice. His words weren’t meant to harm, but they left me shaken. He doubted my pursuits and questioned what I wanted to do with my life.
At first, I didn’t give much thought to his words, but over time, they began to affect me.
My confidence took a hit, and I started questioning everything I was doing. It felt like my drive had been stripped away. I confided in a mentor, Val Okafor, and later shared the experience with my family. Their encouragement helped, but the damage had already been done—my energy and passion for my projects dwindled.
Looking back, I’ve realized how much those words shaped my actions. They planted seeds of doubt that lingered far too long. However, I’ve also learned some invaluable lessons from this experience:
1. Build an Internal Shield
If you want to achieve anything in life, you need to develop a strong internal shield to protect yourself from unsolicited opinions and negativity.
People will always have something to say about your actions, but it’s up to you to filter their words.
My boss’s comments came from his perspective, not from a full understanding of my goals or the impact of my efforts. Building resilience means recognizing that not all advice is worth internalizing.
2. Conviction is Key
Whatever you’re doing, whether it’s a business venture, a creative project, or personal development, you need a strong conviction to keep going.
At the time, I was driven by external validation. I wanted people to notice my efforts and affirm their value.
When I didn’t receive that, I started doubting myself.
True conviction comes from within and serves as a foundation for perseverance, regardless of external feedback.
3. Have a Growth Plan
One of my biggest mistakes was not having a clear plan. I was simply doing things as they came to mind, without a roadmap or strategy.
If I had a defined growth plan, my boss’s words wouldn’t have shaken me as much.
A solid plan helps you stay grounded and focused, giving you confidence that you’re on the right track.
Whether in business or personal development, having a vision and actionable steps is crucial.
4. Say No to Negative Words
Words are powerful. They can uplift or destroy.
Negative words are like wildfire—they spread and burn until you extinguish them.
Be intentional about the words you allow into your life. Whether they come from friends, colleagues, or even your own thoughts, you must actively combat negativity with positive affirmations, prayer, or whatever works for you.
Surround yourself with people who uplift you and align with your goals.
5. Practice Positive Affirmations
This is something I’ve started doing more frequently. Speaking positive words over yourself can transform your mindset and actions. If you believe in your potential and affirm it daily, you’ll find the strength to push through challenges. Positive affirmations are especially helpful if you struggle with low self-esteem or self-doubt.
In Summary
Words are incredibly powerful, and their impact can linger far longer than we realize. While constructive feedback is valuable, it’s essential to build an internal shield to protect yourself from negativity. Conviction and a growth plan can keep you focused and resilient, while positive affirmations and intentional circles of influence can help you thrive.
To anyone who has ever experienced words that shook your confidence or progress, know that you’re not alone. Use those experiences as a stepping stone to grow stronger. Reject the negativity and embrace the belief that you’re capable of greatness.
I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever been in a situation where words affected your motivation or progress? Share your story in the comments—let’s learn and grow together.
With love,
Queeny Tayo